The Journey Begins

I had originally intended to have my first post be what I had written in the “About Me” section, but it just didn’t seem to say everything I wanted to say in my first post! So here I am trying to figure out exactly who I am, and realizing that is a fluid answer. I am always changing, becoming something new. I have been many things in this lifetime, and right now, I am currently coming out of my cocoon, unfurling new wings and beginning another lifetime of being me. I read once that a man said he had been in love with eight different women during his 40 year marriage, and they were all the same woman. I bet you my fiance would agree with this statement, in the last 3 years, he could say he has been with at least 3 as I have grown leaps and bounds! I have been a singer, a dancer, a wife, a lover, a fighter, a victim, a warrior, a teacher, a student; I have been lazy, depressed, defiant. I have been overwhelmed and exhausted and I have crawled when I couldn’t walk anymore and most of all, I have persevered. This life we are born into is never easy, and my personal philosophy has me believe that we choose this life before we enter it, truly knowing the lessons our souls want to learn and so I embrace each challenge, after I’m through being pissed off and try and find the silver lining in everything. NO, every day isn’t easy, NO there are no awards for being the one who smiles the most, but YES there are personal rewards for living your best life, and I promise, no matter how dark things may look, there are answers under the greenest leaf!

I am not a healthcare professional, I am not a doctor, nor do I claim to have all the answers to living a healthy lifestyle, nor do I profess that marijuana will cure all of your ailments. What I do maintain, is that my life and the lives of many people I know have been changed for the better by their use of marijuana and CBD. After years of trying to find information that made sense to me I have come to find that what is considered common knowledge for some, isn’t so common for others, and that just because someone works at a Dispensary does NOT make them an expert! I don’t claim to be a marijuana expert, I make one simple claim…. I improved my life for the better by accepting my ignorance of the plant and starting a journey of enlightenment that has led me to wellness.

In 2003 I was 31 years old, I had the job I had always dreamed of, I lived in a beautiful city, I had what I thought would be my last relationship and an amazing 5 year old son. From where I was standing, life was looking pretty good, even though I had experienced a pretty severe trauma a couple of years before hand with the sudden death of my son’s father. I was a Clinical Liaison working with Seriously Mentally Ill individuals who also happened to be substance abusers; it was tough work that I found highly rewarding, even though the hours were long and the emotional stress could take it’s toll. I believe the people I assisted benefited from working with me because I had a bit of a different outlook on mental illness than others. I truly believed that the only thing that separated myself from my clients was a traumatic life event, and I didn’t realize how close to the truth my philosophy ended up being. By 2006 I was in chronic pain; I couldn’t keep food down; I couldn’t sleep; I had severe anxiety; all of my muscles were in a full on revolt; I was taking more medications than I could list without a post-it note; I was no longer able to be an effective parent or partner; and my entire world was turned upside down. Needless to say all of my education and life experiences suddenly meant nothing when it came to dealing with this new obstacle in my life and I spiraled into depression, self-pity and I literally stayed in bed for 3 years.

Every day my son would peek in the bedroom door to see if I was awake before he went to school and gave me gentle kisses before he was off for his day, yet when he got home, or on the weekends, he would grab his pillows and blankets early in the morning, along with his video games and he and I would spend all day in the bedroom playing games and napping. My partner sank into depression right along with me, well beside me in bed, as our lives had changed so drastically and we were still trying to catch up. In less than a year I had gone from hiking, fishing, hunting, walking everyday and being an active family member to living in the bedroom. I had become a walking pharmacy and the amount of opioids I was being prescribed was truly insane! I was not an advocate for myself or my health yet, so I took all of my pills just like the bottles said, which turned me into a bobblehead who didn’t drive, didn’t cook, didn’t parent, didn’t partner, I didn’t DO anything. One day I realized I had a choice to make, live or die, and I wasn’t ready to die yet, so it was time to get educated! I truly believe education is the greatest weapon a person can have in their arsenal in life, so I embraced the education sources in the new “green” rush that was in full swing in 2009-2010 and dove in with my entire being into my journey to wellness through marijuana! The person I had thought I would spend my entire life with was not part of my wellness plan as he was not ready to change his life like I was, so as my journey began, I left some things behind that had been holding me down, and I have never looked back.

Now it’s 2019, I have been a medical marijuana card holder in Arizona for several years, I am engaged to another card holder and marijuana enthusiast, our adult children are part of our journey, and although I still couldn’t hold down a regular forty hour a week job, I am back to LIVING and wanting to share my experience with the world. Along the way I have been able to leave quite a few medications behind, and although I am sure I will dedicate an entire blog post to this subject, I thought showing people exactly the things I have eliminated from my life on this journey would be a good incentive to start their own voyage to wellness!
* Buspar – Anxiety
* Ativan – Acute anxiety attacks
* Seroquel – Depression and Insomnia
* Gabapentin – Nerve pain
* Cyclobenzeprine – Stiff, sore muscles
* Metformin – Metabolic Syndrome
* Oxycodone – Pain
*Methotrexate – autoimmunue

I hope if you have found your way through to the end of this post that you too are wanting to start your journey into wellness through marijuana!
Sincerely,
Nicole
Photo Credit – Photo by Panos Sakalakis on Unsplash

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